This is something I just wrote, describing what's been going through my mind since I found out about my brother yesterday.

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It's cannon fodder,

for the mind.

When you reveal your true person.

I reel in revusion,

Then remember the childhood days of playing baseball.

I'm torn between two people,

Housed in the same mind.

The disgust bleeds from my face.

And the tears burn tracks in my childish mind.

Life was once stable,

And you were once kind.

I cannot understand,

The demons that live inside you.

You.

My brother.

My flesh and blood.

I now feel tainted,

knowing this might flow through my veins.

Knowing that same environment that fueled me,

drove you to this.

The tears that come from your eyes,

only now seem justified,

like a punishment you deserve.

You terrorized a human life.

And you are now a monster in her eyes.

In my eyes, you are not fit to be called a human being.

She's afraid of being alone.

Afraid of your hand,

which you raised.

I know the feeling.

The intimidation she must feel.

I felt it all throughout my adolesent days.

I justified and defended you.

And I want to burn my tongue because it spoke those words.

You never deserved my defense.

You never deserved my excuses.

You never deserved to be idolized.

And yet, I did it.

My idol.

The trophy I strived to be.

Turned out to be the monster that lives inside you.

You were once stable,

And life was once kind.

But not anymore.