I've been reading all these Pro-eating disorder sites lately, and it disturbs me. I didn't even know people like this existed. I found them, by chance, and I've been going around to a bunch of Pro-ED sites and it's kind of like a car wreck. I'm disgusted, but at the same time, I couldn't tear myself away.

I've never had a problem with my weight. My mom was anorexic in her teens and growing up, I was subjected to her yo-yo dieting every couple of months. But it never rubbed off. This may be because I'm 5'6, and I weigh 120 lbs, and I wear a size 5. No one in their right mind would ever call me anything close to overweight. And I've realized this. I'm skinny. Peroid.

My step-mom once told me that she was very proud of the fact that I never gave in to the rash of teenage dieters and constant barrage of "thin to win" messages portrayed in today's media. She said she was glad that I've never had body-image problems.

After reading the things I've read, I am too.

When I get depressed, I don't eat. This has nothing to do with body image though. I'm just not hungry. It's a side affect of the depression. Some people eat when they're depressed, some stop eating.

In the beginning of 2001, I was at my lowest, depression-wise. I would sit in my room, watching TV, and eating Cheez-its. My mom would make dinner, I would come downstairs, I would eat three bites, and then I would be full. So, I lost a lot of weight. 20 lbs., to be exact. I got down to 105.

Then, one day, I was getting ready to take a shower and I turned around to look at my tattoo and I scared the hell out of myself. You could actually see the ribs in my back. It was disgusting. It reminded me of those prisoners of war, that have been starved for months. Seriously.

So I went onto a site last night and they had your "ideal" weight. I'm 5'6. They said that my "ideal" (and this term is used loosely) weight was 102 lbs. For those of you that are math impared, that's 3 lbs. less than the POW look.

How can anyone be roped in by this? How can anyone want to look like that?

Or let me rephrase that? How can anyone roped in by this still proclaim, "Anorexia is a lifestyle, not a disease."

It all just makes me sick.