Today I really want a boyfriend. One's who's cool and nice and outgoing and smart... fuck, I'd probably date a loser, mean, introverted, dumb guy right now. I guess I should explain the suddenly onslaught of romantic feelings.

It's Saturday night. On Thursday, I went over my dad's and he told me I should start asking guys out, which really pissed me off, because I was explaining to him that I'm gonna learn to be with myself and be happy before I seriously date someone else. And he tells me although that's a good idea, I should start asking guys out. DUDE! I'm trying to do the right thing here! And he's basically pushing me back into Hell.

Then yesterday in school, I saw Dave and Savanna making out in the hallway. Like I said before, everyone seems like they're in love in my school. And I'm not.

So, last night, I went to the B2B show and Carl was all over me. And it's just like, I miss that attention, you know? I miss having someone put their arm around you, or their hands on your waist. I miss that. I want that again. Plus, I saw Matt for the first time in forever. We chatted a bit and then I had to leave because Vicki was there and I could tell she was getting restless. So I'm like, "Yeah, but I gotta go." Then he's like, "Okay, well, call me sometime. Your sister's got the number." And I'm actually considering it.

Then today I went to the Grind with Lindsey and Scott. It was cool for awhile, because we were working on our paper and Scott's a pretty cool guy. Then we finished, and they start to get all relationshipy on me. And I'm just sitting there, playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 on Scott's computer. I just averted my eyes from them and felt like the third wheel. Plus, Scott has this pretty hot friend, Joe who was there for awhile. And I'm just thinking, "Hey..."

Damn, being alone sucks.