Ah, yet another Saturday night, home alone. I need to either get a full time job that keeps me working on Saturdays or else I need to get some friends and a life.

I did work today. Man, that was hell. I went to bed at 9:30 last night, woke up at two, went back to sleep at 6:00, then woke up at 12:00. Then I went to work and could barely keep my eyes open. Man, mono sucks.

So I came home and I tried to start reading, "The Art of Happiness"... but I don't know. I just couldn't keep my mind on it. Maybe I'll give it another go later on.

So the question of the day is: will Rachel go back to school on Monday? Mom is intent on getting me the tutor, but I don't think it's very fair to get me a tutor just because I don't like people enough to go to school. But now that this whole mono thing is going on, in association with the panic attacks, is it a good idea? Maybe. I don't know. Maybe I'll only need the tutor for a little bit. Either way, I think I'm gonna call on Monday and make another therapy appointment.

I don't think I need the drugs anymore, but I do need to talk out all this shit that's going on, especially with my mom and me.

Her internet boyfriend is pretty much out of the picture. What did I say was going to happen? It's not like I wanted to be right. Hell, I would've been happier had he turned out to be a decent guy and I was wrong. But Mom just keeps making the same bad decisions. She just can't see that.

Matt came into the store today and he was talking on the phone and when he hung up he said something about not wanting to go to Florida. I was like, "Did you just say you DIDN'T want to go to Florida?" And he's like, "Yeah, I don't want to go to Florida." So I was like, "Hey, I'll go for you. Let me go instead of you. I can pretend to be you, how about that?" And he looks at me with that grin of his on his face and he's like, "Why don't I just take you with me when I go?" Oh my god, I almost jumped over the counter and attacked him. He reminds me of Greg Attonito, and you know what that means... I had to bite my tongue so I didn't tell him all the things that were running through my head. So I just said, "Yeah, sure, let's do that," with a big grin on my face. Damn, if he only was serious...

What would I do if he were serious? I told Mom about it when I got off today, since she thinks he's "a cutie." And she told me that one day they were talking about me and he said, "Yeah, she's my buddy... I LIKE her." My oh my. But I don't know though. I don't think I could do that.

"There must be something about you that I liked, but here in the rain, you know, it just don't seem right." "Old Friend" by Rancid