Today at Stanley's, Geoff came in looking for Kristen, who happens to be his cousin. Choo asked why and he said because he had some important graduation cards for her to see. So, she gets there and goes to Geoff's house. And one of the cards is from her dad.

I remember last summer, the day of Choo's 30th birthday party. We were all trying to get Kristen to come out there and she kept making excuses. But really, it turned out, that was the third anniversery of his death and she wanted to go see his grave.

Mom told me about the card and I cried. I sat in the kitchen, talked with her a bit, and then I went upstairs and cried.

I remember times when I hated my dad. I didn't want to be around him and I didn't even want him to be a part of my life. But now, I know why he did the things I hated him for and I love him more than anybody else on Earth. I can't imagine him not ever being there. Intellectually, I know he'll die someday, but I can't fathom ever not being able to call him and go out to eat with him and talk about his Crowded House tapes... I just can't imagine my life being that different.

I don't want to feel sorry for Kristen. Pity is such an ugly emotion. But I can't help but want this to not be happening to her. Whatever differences we've had, she never deserved this. She never deserved to be in a place I never want to be in. Ever. Whether I'm 20, or 30, or 50, or 70. I don't ever want Dad to be gone.

I'm sorry Kristen. I'm sorry your dad died when you were 13. I'm sorry he was the only stable thing keeping your family together. I'm sorry your mom deserted you and left you to raise yourself after he died. I'm sorry you had to be put through that. And I'm sorry you had to be reminded of that in such a personal way today. But I'm glad your dad wrote you a card before he died. I'm glad you got to see how much he loved you.

Thank you, Dad. Thank you for being there all these years. I know that leaving Mom was the toughest decision you ever had to make. I know that you never meant to hurt any of us. I know you had no idea of the after affects of it. I'm sorry that I may have ever made you feel bad about it. I'm sorry that I ever hated you. I'm sorry and if I have to make up for it until the day I die, I will. It's the least I could do after how much you've loved me all these years. It's the least I could do for you being my father even when I wasn't the best of daughters. Thank you for making me realize that I was loved. Thank you for making me feel loved, because in the end, that's all I'll ever need.

"Blamed my father for the wasted years we hardly talked. Then a phone call made me realize I'm wrong." 4am by Our Lady Peace