Quite a few things to say today.

I talked to Eric on the phone today. I got home from work and called him. I realized he could never be my boyfriend because he doesn't understand my shoes. I could never be with a guy that doesn't understand the utter greatness of the Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars. I told him I got new shoes and I was like, "Aww, yeah, the Chuck Taylor All-Stars!" And this is what he responded with: "Oh no. Converse!" Excuse me? Converse is not now, nor will it ever be an "Oh no". That just will not happen. Converse is an "Oh yes! Give me the coolest shoes that ever graced this very universe in which I reside." That's what Converse are.

My mom is drinking heavily again. I cannot understand this. She spends $10 a day on a bottle of wine, and then she complains that we don't have any money. Do the math, honey. It all adds up.

And on Friday, I walked in the room and glanced at the computer screen and saw Mike saying "I love you" to her. Oh yeah. They're not back to dating, they're just really close friends. *rolls her eyes* Once again, my prediction has come true. I amaze even myself.

Sara's been really upset lately. I saw her today and she told me her and Joey had broken up. I played along, acting like I didn't know yet. I was just a good friend. I asked if she was okay, gave her a hug, and told her that I'd been there, that it hurts a lot, but it does get better. It's kind of funny. Six months ago, if I'd said that to me, I'd punch myself. But we all feel the need to say it, no matter how much we know she's not gonna believe it. I had 90 million people telling me that, and it took actually feeling better for me to believe it.

I finally have a crush on someone. It all started last Saturday. I'm working the counter at Stanely's and in walks Pat. I say hi and sell him his cigarettes, we held the usual pleasant conversation, and then I had to help someone at the lotto machine. He's walking out and I interrupt the guy I'm waiting on to call out, "See ya later, Pat." Then I finish with the lotto guy. He leaves and I start talking to Tish. She's like, "That guy's from Virginia, you know? His dad was in the millitary and he has a millitary ID." I'm like, "Yeah, I know." Which I actually didn't know the part about the millitary, but who's counting? Then, I said, "That's my brother's friend." So, she looks at me weird and goes, "You like him, don't you?" I gave her the international so-so sign with my hand and helped another guy.

The day passed pretty quickly and then I had to go back to work on Sunday. I found myself actually planning an outfit to wear, instead of just grabbing whatever was clean. I kept thinking, "What if Pat comes in today?" And then I realized that I liked him more than just so-so. Ahh, it's great to have a crush again. Today, I was all depressed at work because he didn't come in. Josh came in. Chef Matt came in. Robert the Pepsi guy came in. But that wasn't enough because Pat didn't come in.

So then, I'm at home, watching the MTV movie awards. Actually, I was just watching Weezer (mmmm... Rivers... *drool*). And my mom started yelling in our parking lot. It turns out, she was yelling at Paul, who was drinking in the parking lot. With Pat. Oh yes. And me being... well, being me, I retreated back to my "Oh my god, I have a crush on you, so I'll play it cool" mode. Let me tell you, ignoring the guy you have a crush on while he's sitting on your front porch, just because you want to "play it cool" doesn't make much progress on the romance front. I just sat in the living room, listening to him talk and smiling at his voice. I'm so lame. I don't even know if he knew I was here. Well, he had to because Paul came in and talked to me for awhile. Dammit, I've got to get a new plan. Talking to him, for example, might work. But for now, I'm back to hoping he comes into Stanley's tomorrow.

I love having crushes. It's so fun and young and happy. There's that anticipation and not knowing what's going on and the fact that your fantasies are way better than anything that could ever happen... it's awesome.

"And I said to myself... maybe..." Quick Chek Girl by The Souls