So I went out to dinner with my dad tonight and this is what he gave me for my birthday:

Yup. Nothing. I kept waiting for him to say, hey, wait I'm going to go get your gift. But I waited too long and finally I was just like, "Well, we're going to get going." And I really did expect him to say, "Wait, you forgot the presents." But he said, "Okay." NO IT'S NOT OKAY.

I wasn't even asking for gifts. If he had just acknowledged the absence of them, then maybe I'd be fine. Like if he had said, "Sorry, I didn't get you anything." Fuck, a card would've been better than nothing. I just wanted something to distinguish this from any other night with desert, because he did take 20 minutes from his day to make me a boxed cake. It's just... I'm hurt. And that's all there is to it.

Over the years, I learned one thing. My parents have served as prime examples of what NOT to do when raising children. My kids will never be able to do something bad enough to make me not get them anything for their fucking birthday. And I didn't even do anything. I just don't get it. Why the hell would you not get something for your daughter and then not even say anything about it. It's not like they're fucking hard up for cash. My dad makes $50,000 a year and his wife makes even more. Is it that fucking hard to spend $1.50 on a Hallmark card?

I don't know. I just feel forgotten. I really do. Brian's mom got me more for my birthday than my own father did. My FRIENDS got me more. I think I like my chosen family better than the one I got by default. Except for my sister.

I'm just so hurt, and angry, and confused. It sucks. It all just sucks.