I'm very tired. After getting 5 hours of sleep last night, I went shopping for 2 hours and then went to work for another 8.

I had semi-long (seeing as we were both at work) conversations with Mike. It was nice. But it got me thinking about stuff I don't want to think about. I mean, I know eventually you have to think about things you don't want to think about, but I'd like to leave it until the last possible minute, as opposed to the rest of my life, in which I've spent obsessing over the little last detail and driving myself mad in the process. I'm tired of feeling so fucking insane all the time. I just want to feel normal.

Is it normal to want to rock the boat of stability? Is it normal to want to run away from your life and start over from scratch in someplace new where no one knows you and the ways you've fucked up your life?

I want to go to Florida. I want to take a week-long vacation by myself and visit my brother. And I want it to be as revitalizing as it was last time, only it couldn't be, could it? How many times can you reinvent yourself and still have it feel right? I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that last time, it was okay for me to be an irresponsible oaf for a few days. Now, there's all these RESPONSIBILITIES, things I've never been good at handling.

Fuck it. I don't want to go to Florida, I want to go to Neverland.