While looking for my dog's leash, Brian unearthed my copy of "How I Spent My Summer Vacation" by The Bouncing Souls. It all flies me back to the first time I really listened to this album...

It was coming up on the summer of 2001. I was exiting one of the worst periods of my life, one that tops my shit-list of feeling bad about myself. I had waited forever for this album and the day it came out, I was broke. Not uncommon, seeing as I'm po' folk, but I remember waiting until Thursday so I could get paid and go buy this album. And I listened to it a couple of times and it was alright.

One night, I was on the computer, downstairs by myself and I decided to pop it in. So I did and the first few songs were just background music. Then on came track #5, "The Something Special". I remember just turning around and something was there that hadn't been in a long time. Something in that song moved me in a way I couldn't believe. I swear, I just stared at the CD player and listened to this song. It was amazing. So I put the CD player on repeat and listened to this album so many times that night. It was like... I can't even describe what it did to me. If you've felt it, you know. If not, no amount of explaining could ever portray those feelings. I will say this though. It was like falling in love, only with something that you knew would never, could never disappoint you.

I remembered going to see them do the tour for this album, and for the last song, "Manthem", I jumped onstage along with a bunch of other people. And they were all up there, jumping around, going crazy, just excited to be up there. And I stood there, next to Greg Attonito as the song was pumping out it's first beats and I waited for the words to begin. The first chorus started and everyone was jumping around. Everyone but me. I was singing and next thing I knew, Greg Attonito was standing next to me, and then he had his arm around me and we were singing the song together. I pumped my fist and screamed into the microphone the he shoved in between our faces and it was incredible. I'll never forget it.

Tonight, when I put this CD in and pressed play, it was like a drug. It just made me happy. I smiled immediately and remembered things I hadn't let myself remember in a long time. I remembered summer, the best part of summer, the young, carefree part of summer. And I'm determined this year to bring that back in my life.

I don't know if I'll be sucessful. I don't know if it's possible to make yourself feel good. At least not that good. But I want it so bad, I can't believe that it won't happen.

I know it won't be the same. The reason that summer was so great was because it was so unexpected. It was like climbing out of a pile of shit and ending up on a mountain of gold. And you can't plan that. Something happens, something miraculous and all of a sudden, everything is good. Everything that held you down has left and you're fine. Absolutely fine. You can't plan it, no matter how hard you try. It just happens.

I hope it happens this year, somewhere in the shows, and the bonfires, and the late nights with good friends.

I hope...