T.T. fell down the stairs like so many old ladies screaming, "Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!" And I would've laughed my ass off, had she not been pregnant. So instead, when I got the call, I freaked out and went into work to cover her shift, as I will do tomorrow.

This, I didn't have a problem with. The problem arose when I got to work and saw a Caesar salad on the counter. It looked very good, because I like food. Especially chicken, which was in this particular salad. But some fucking bastard left it out all day, so I had to nobly decide not to eat it, seeing as I can't have food poisoning because I have to work tomorrow.

I will gladly accept any charity salads sent to:

Stanley's Market

25000 Telegraph

Flat Rock, MI

48134

I await your kindness. Thank you.