Why am I so easily persuaded by Paul and his wife? I was sitting on their floor on Saturday night, enjoying the movie, "A Clockwork Orange", despite the fact that it's basically a porno-filled masterpiece, with Fatty, Corey, Jasper, and this really hot kid Ryan, all there, and suddenly Christina pops out with, "You're not drinking." She states this in disbelief, like I'm the resident alcoholic in the family, despite the fact that as far as I know, out of the five of us, I drink the least.

"Nope," I replied.

"You're a loser. You're never coming over here again. You always do this, say you're gonna get drunk, and then you don't," she said.

I grinned, knowing damn well she was pretty drunk already. "Thanks for supporting my well-being." I had no intention on drinking for the rest of the night. I had already drank a little, but that was enough for me. I don't like drinking. The after affects are nice, but the process usually drains all the fun out of the whole thing.

So, I'd like to say that I stuck to my guns and went along with what I'd planned on doing. But I began to feel guilty. I DID say that I was going to get drunk and here I was, not drinking. That's how I rationalized the fact that next, I took my bottle of Buttershots and went and did four of them in like five minutes. Christina, me, and this girl Courtney all sat around the kitchen for the next hour and a half, doing shots of J&B and Buttershots, bullshitting about life and guys, and bitching about what an ass Paul was being. Christina's made it her life's goal to set up Fatty and me. All night she kept going, "Fatty's single, you should date Fatty." My favorite thing she said was, "According to Paul and all his ex-girlfriends, he's really well-hung." Like this was a deal maker for me. "Well, I wasn't gonna go out with him, but now that I know he has an incredibly large penis, ALL RIGHT!"

Man, I remember being 15, thinking Fatty was all hot and shit. What do you do when the guy you've had a small crush on for two years, suddenly decides you're hot and he wants to date you? And your sister-in-law is all for it, although Paul probably isn't. God, I don't know. It would be the biggest conflict of interest since... hell, since I fucked my brother's roommate (I talked to Chris the other day, but more on that later). But he's hot and he seems really nice. Paul was being a dick, and he was gonna take off with Fatty and Ryan even though Christina told him not to. So, while he was getting ready to go, which actually included him vomiting all over the bathroom floor, Fatty came in and was talking to Christina and suddenly he's just like, "You want me to leave without him?" He risked getting Paul totally pissed off (even though it was a small risk, considering for the most part, Paul was oblivious to anything that was going on), just so Christina wouldn't be pissed off at Paul. It was sweet, if you can understand what I'm talking about. So he left without Paul, which was good because Paul spent to rest of the night, before he passed out, puking out everything he's eaten since last Wednesday. Seriously, I've never heard someone throw up that violently. We had to carry him from the kitchen to the bathroom and then from the bathroom to the bed. And my brother's not a small man. And I'm a big wimp.

So, Christina and I bullshitted on the couch until probably 1:30. She kept telling me that I should go out with Fatty because he's a good guy and, "no offense, but Dave was a dork, and you can do better than that." That made me grin. But I basically avoided the subject, because I'm not too sure how I feel about the whole thing. I mean, hell, if he asked me out, yeah I'd go out with him, but what would Paul say. I don't want to hook up with Fatty, have it go to shit, and then have to see him whenever I want to hang out with my brother. So, like I said before, it's a conflict of interest.

So, I talked to Chris and he actually asked me when I was planning on coming down next. He really has no fucking clue what happened. I told him probably summer, which is true. I'll probably go down there in June. What's gonna happen then? Hell, I guess it depends on what's going on in my life. And Joey's life. God, I act like he's not even a part of this. He's not a part of my life, especially not now that I don't have to worry, and so that's good. But I can't go down there and fuck him without him being a part of it. It doesn't really work that way. Oh well. Whatever.

I figured out what I'm gonna do if I don't pass this semester. I'll get my GED, and start in WCCC or MCCC next year. So while all my friends are seniors, I'll be in college. But that's just if I don't pass. Right now, I'm working my ass off so I'm not failing anymore. I'm not giving in just yet.

That's my life in the aftermath of St. Patrick's Day.