March 20. I once wrote a poem titled that. It was actually titled March 20, 2000, because that's the day Dave and I started going out. I don't know. Yesterday, he saw me in the hall and hesitantly waved hello and I said hi. I remember when he asked me if we could ever be friends again, and I just said I didn't know. But really it's probably not. It's going to take a long time to repair all the damage that happened and he's going to college in September. So, unless we run into each other along the way, I don't see it happening. I'd like to be friends with him, someday. That boy keeps me in check. But there's just too much there right now, you know?

So today I've been thinking a lot about what happened with us. I didn't even realize what today was until second hour, which I suppose was good because I had to get SSO pictures taken with him (he missed the QB picture). I hope he doesn't go. I'll have a lot more fun with everybody if I don't have to worry about him being there. Especially Geoff. Last time I went anywhere with Geoff, it was that one QB thing that we had at U of M. With Dave.

I've been contemplating getting a boyfriend lately. But hell, I don't need that shit right now. It's like, it'd be nice to have all the touchy-feely things that went along with it, but that's it. That's all I want. So I just need to find someone I can make out with, maybe other stuff. I just want someone to hang out with, friends with benefits type of deal. But I don't want that fucked up deep emotional connection. Not for awhile anyway. Maybe I should hook up with Fatty. Or not.

I think I'm gonna call Vicki and we can pine away at our lonliness today. She'll understand, or if not, fuck it, she can pretend. We'll go someplace and make fun of a bunch of losers. That'll make me feel better.

And it's not even like I feel all that bad today. It's just kind of this sadness that's lurking in my mind. Like, that's too bad it couldn't work out, but fuck it, it's the first day of spring and I feel a lot better about myself than I did when we were going out.

SPRING, SPRING, SPRING!!! Only one more season to SUMMER! And the Warped Tour. This is going to be an awesome summer. I can feel it. Hanging out, meeting people, all that shit. Getting drunk off my ass whenever I can. And did I mention WARPED TOUR. It's sad, but that's what summer has come to symbolize for me. "Only a few months to Warped Tour..." But that's cool. Cause it's gonna kick ass this year.

Okay, now I'm happy again. Damn, what's wrong with me...