"Another week went by and she never called, but I thought about the way she looked at me and I said to myself... Maybe..." -Greg Attonito

Okay, it's about time I professed my neverending love to Greg Attonito of the Bouncing Souls. It all started on a hot, sunny, July afternoon in 1999. The Warped Tour. I had heard of the Bouncing Souls, seeing as my ex-best friend and current aquaintance is in love with Bryan from the very same band, but I had never had the pleasure of actually seeing them. But, I wanted to see the Dropkick Murphys and continue a longstanding Warped Tour tradition, so off to the tour I went.

Suddenly, H2O begins playing. "Oh my God, that's H2O," my friend Megan said from our spot over by the Port-o-Potties. We bolted to the main stage where Toby and the gang were rockin' up a sweat in the sweltering July heat. We stood and listened, bobbing our heads and pumping our fists in typical "punk-rawk" fashion. Then the boys from H2O finished up their set and we saw Sarah (ex-best friend) and her current guy-of-the-month (I call him this because I seriously can't remember his name. I think it started with a "B") with some of his friends. We chatted for a bit.

"So, who's on next," a question flew from someone's mouth.

"Bouncing Souls," someone replied. And so began my obsession.

Onto the stage and into my heart bounded my ECFU boys. I couldn't tell you what the hell they played, seeing as I didn't know any of their songs yet. But I could tell you that I was completely mesmerized (I actually know that word comes from some psychotherapist named Mesmer... how sad is that?) by Greg Attonito. He had his hat and his cane and anyone in their right mind would look at him once and know he's a sexy bitch. Oh yes. He's a VERY sexy bitch.

Since then, I've developed a life plan. I'm going to meet him, he's going to fall madly in love with me, and we'll get married and live happily ever after with our two adopted children, our dog named Brett, and our two Dalmation Malley fish (I don't know their names yet. I guess he can decide, seeing he has no choice in the rest of this.)

So this summer, I'll be seeing them for the third time in as many years. I remember seeing them on the Punk-O-Rama Tour and I just stood in front of the stage and stared at Greg. That's what my $20 paid for, a gape-fest of Greg Attonito. Well worth it, my friends. There was this girl there and in the middle of the show, she yells out, "I love you, Greg!" I wanted to deck her, kneel down next to her, and scream, "Back off my man, bitch!" into her bloody face. But you can't do that. Or at least you shouldn't.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm such a groupie that it's pathetic.