I want to have a crush on someone right now. That feeling is so awesome. The anticipation, the wondering, the imagining... and I haven't had that in awhile. I want that again.

Hmmmm, yeah. The tutor came today. I finally filled out my schedule and gave it to her. So I have classes next year. Yay for me.

I didn't have to see my mom again today. She worked and I slept. Then she slept and here I am. I think this is the only way we can get along. Constant absence from each other's lives. I don't have a problem with it, since I've all but cut myself off emotionally from her.

And I feel terrible about it. She's my mother. And I think about that and I feel terrible about how I feel about her. But then I think about everything she's done, how she constantly lies about anything she thinks she can get away with, everything... and then I think, well how could I feel anything but this way? Still... she's the only mother I have. I don't know. I'm very indecisive.

So that was today. Sleep, tutor, and three Gary Cooper movies. My favorite was Meet John Doe. It's a Frank Capra movie and he could make a movie about a cat getting run over and it would still be heartwarming. Somehow, they would remember the dead cat and it would turn someone's life around, after they tried to commit suicide. Then they would be reunited with the ones they loved and they would all thank God that they were alive. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

That's all. Done. You are the weakest link, goodbye. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here.