I went to work today. It seems to me that lately, all my activity involves either Vicki, or Stanley's Market.

I went and for the first hour or so, I felt okay. Then Kristen came in. Now comes the time to tell about Kristen.

I have known Kristen for about one year. She's the type of person who wouldn't have looked twice at a "freak" like me at school until I started working at Stanley's. It's kind of funny the types of relationships work causes. It's like, you don't have a thing in common until you have to empty out a dirty, sticky, disgusting bag of rank smelling bottles, splashing the liquid, that the customers are too lazy to empty out, all over your fresh clean shirt. Then, at least you can bitch about it to each other. It's amazing the world that something like that opens. Suddenly, someone who you'd never look twice at becomes an aquaintance of sorts. Suddenly, you're not so different from them.

When I first met Kristen, I judged her the same way she had me. I labeled her a bitch and decided to stay away from her. But she actually wasn't that bad. She has her moments, but most of the time, she's pretty cool, and she's funny. And she's also very pretty.

This is a problem of sorts. I opened today with T.T. and I'd say we have about an even shot with guys. But, you throw someone like Kristen in the mix, and all eyes are on her. I'm not a bad looking girl... not the prettiest, but I'm okay. But Kristen is pretty in that I-try-so-hard way that guys drool all over. T.T. has a steady relationship and wouldn't take guys up on the offers even if they came. I don't and I would. But when Kristen's around, they don't come.

So, I was happy when she went to fill the cooler. She's been a major bitch lately, and she's been sporting a horrendous "I don't give a fuck," attitude these days. Not an "I don't give a fuck because I have self-worth," kind of attitude, but an "I don't give a fuck because I'm better than you and you don't deserve me giving a fuck," kind of attitude, which royally pisses me off.

I'm working the counter, wondering why each second is taking an hour to tick away on the clock when I look up to call the next customer to my register and who is it but Angel. Angel. It brought back a world and a half of memories... Halloween '99, Slurpees, Hudson's, his truck; all far more innocent than I would've liked. I had a massive crush to end all crushes on this boy. But, alas, he had no such feelings for me. I asked him out to the movies one time and he said he didn't "feel like going out" that night, and I was so crushed that I didn't have the heart to ask again. He had a thing for a girl named Dawna and I was left in her dust.

I moved on though. I started dating Dave, and then we ended up together and Angel and I drifted apart. Then, one day Angel suggested we go on another one of our "Slurpee dates". I accepted, because he still holds a special place in my heart. We went out and we were driving and talking about Dave and me. He asked me why nothing ever happened between him and me. He actually asked that. I was almost in love with this guy for six months and he's asking me why nothing ever happened between us. It's all him, baby.

So, when he walked in, I was stunned. He graduated last year and I haven't seen him since. But there he was in front of me. And he looked GOOD! Why must that be thrown in my face. He could've looked horrible and/or I could've looked like I didn't roll out of bed and go to work, which I did.

So, he asked if Kristen was there. Oh boy. I know where this is going. So, she comes out and talks to him for a few more minutes and then, decides she has better things to do than talk to him. She leaves and Angel and I talked and laughed for twenty minutes. He actually sat there and paid attention to me. He looked at me and smiled at me and reminded me of all the fun times that we had. Kristen had left, and he looked at me. I'll tell you, it felt damn good.

Then, Kristen came back, and he still looked at me. T.T. gave me a case of beer to put back in the cooler door, and he followed me back there instead of staying up and talking to Kristen. Then, damn him, my dad came to pick me up. So I turned to him and said casually, "There's my dad. I have to go. Give me a hug." So we hugged. This is as much contact as I've ever had with Angel. Be still my beating heart.

My dad witnessed this hug and asked who Angel was. I explained that he was only a friend, and, although I used to (used to? Hell, I do now) have a crush on him, nothing is going on. Not that I don't want it to. I didn't tell my dad that, but I kept suggesting to Angel that we go get Slurpees again sometime. He laughed and said, "We'll have to do that," in a nonchalant voice. Nothing will happen, just like nothing ever happened before. Angel will remain a crush. So then my dad confided to me that he liked the way Angel looked a lot more than the way Dave looked. He said Angel looked "manly", which I laughed at, but I heartily agree. Hee, hee. My dad doesn't like Dave either.

But today ended great. He paid attention to me and not Kristen. He walked with me instead of being with her. This never happens when two people know Kristen and me simultaneously. But it did today. And not with some dumb, drunken idiot. Angel. Not some toothless loser. Angel. This doesn't happen to me. But it did today. And I'm still smiling.