Mark this date in the history books. May 22. The day The Bouncing Souls "How I Spent My Summer Vacation" came out. Also the day I found out I WILL graduate high school with the class of 2002.
I always figured I'd end up like Paul. I always chalked it up to predestination. But no. Predestination is a cop-out losers use. I will not end up like my brother. I will be the first kid in the family to graduate.
Today my tutor came over and agreed with me that I'll pass Econ and Am. Lit. despite my failings in Chem, Research, and Pre-Calc. I'm trying in vain in Pre-Calc, but that's for myself. I will graduate. Mark this date as the day I proclaimed this from the hilltops and came down with more determination than I've ever felt in my life. I will graduate.
There has never been a more trying time in my life than this past year. Depression, anxiety, sadness, and anger marks my junior year. I'll always remember that. But, I'll also always remember that I made it out alive. If that ends up being the only thing I've learned, it was well worth it. I can survive. This is something I was never too sure of.
For a few months there, I didn't think I was gonna make it. I figured I'd drop out and live my life with that decision. But no. Oh no. That will not happen. I will graduate and set prescedent. I will make it through. No the only predestination I'm feeling today is that I have the predestiny to make my own destiny.
For a few months there, I thought I didn't need to graduate high school. I thought, hey, look at all the successful people out there who didn't graduate high school, like Lars. But for every Lars out there, there's a million Pauls. I didn't want to end up working in a shitty factory job until I was 65. I didn't want that to be enough. And I thought that that was my destiny. But no. My destiny reaches far above that. I know this now.
Whatever mistakes I've made, I was never too deep to pull myself out. I was never too deep to succeed. And I will. I'm determined. Predestiny, stand aside. Rachel's taking the reigns now.