Okay, I just had this whole entry written and it just got deleted. Bill Gates can suck my ass. I hate Microsoft.

I went to work today. I was greeted by Sara bitching at me to clean the backroom. Okay, first of all, I don't take orders from her. There are three people who I take orders from, and that's the managers. Second, I've been there for over a year. Sara's been there for like 3 months. Do the math, kids. I have seniority. Third, I was hired as a cashier. Sara was hired as stock help. This puts me above her. So, right about now, I'm thinking Sara can take her attitude and shove it up her ass, because I don't want anymore of it for the rest of the week.

But, being a good little worker, I cleaned the damn backroom, because it needed cleaning. Sara stood around the backroom for about 15 minutes talking on her cell phone. Apparently, she has some odd disease that makes her incapable of working, but has spared her phone skills. As long as she's talking to her friends. This disease leaves social skills intact.

So, Jerry comes back there with some bottles and he's talking to us. He asked her what she was doing, and she said she was mad at her boyfriend because he didn't want to see her. Her boyfriend. You must understand this: Sara is not an ugly girl. She's not a leper. She isn't mute (as previously discovered as she talked on the phone). She's a fairly social girl. All of this leads up to the fact that she could have her pick of a handful of guys. Yet, she goes crawling back to the dickhead who beats her.

I just casually asked her, "You're going back out with Joey?" She nodded and I turned and went back to work. But really, I wanted to scream at her. Scream at her and make her realize the situation she's in. She's just going to keep going through this cycle until she ends up in an abusive marriage... or worse. But she doesn't think it's abusive.

It reminds me of when Megan was in denial about having sex for the first time. She was like, "Well, there wasn't an orgasm, so it wasn't really sex." I just said, "Hon, if his penis was inside of you, it's sex. Period." I can imagine having that conversation with Sara. She'll say, "But he loves me and he doesn't hit me all that much. So it's not abuse." And I'll just say, "Hon, that time he bashed your head into the window? That wasn't love. That was abuse. Period."

Then, when T.T. got to work, Sara had a "talk" with her. She blew up at her because she told Ryan that Joey hit Sara. Sara said, "You promised me you wouldn't tell anyone." And T.T. said, "I only did it because I care about you." Then, Sara snapped, "Well don't!" Don't care about her. Pretend she isn't being hit. Pretend she doesn't deserve better. Don't worry about the new bruises she comes in with. Pretend it's all okay.

As hard as we try, we'll never be able to pretend it's all okay. Because no matter how many times Sara makes excuses, we all know that wasn't a pinch mark. A pinch mark that just happened to be the same size and shape as a thumb and lined up perfectly with Tisha's hand when she grabbed Sara's arm. No matter how many excuses Sara comes up with, or how much she gushes about the stuff Joey buys her, we know now. Denying and pretending won't make it all okay.

"Can't deny there's something wrong." Daughter by Pearl Jam