He called me, to my request. I paged him and he called back and I asked him if we could talk. He was at the movies on a payphone, so he couldn't talk about all the things I wanted to at that point. So he said he'd call me back when he got home.

And he did. And we talked for two hours, about all the pent up things I've been feeling for six months.

And I'm okay. For the first time in half a year, I'm at peace with him.

It feels damn good.

I won't go into detail about what we talked about, but I know now that he's not the heartless monster I made him out to be. No more anxiety and nausea. That's what happened. I got so sick that I threw up. Not today, but when we first took "the break". And today that feeling came back. But now it's gone. Hopefully forever.

I'm okay with it. I'm okay with talking about Savannah with him. It's a little awkward, but I'm okay. We talked for two hours. And it was a conversation that should've happened a long time ago.

It's funny the reasons you come up with for what people did when you're too afraid to ask them why. He said he always thought we'd get back together even when he was with Savannah and I had asked him if it was all over and he said yes. He still thought that. That makes me feel good, that he always knew I'd turn out okay.

And now, I know we'll be friends. I know we'll be what we always should've.

Finally, I'm okay.

And it's the best feeling in the world.