If every day at work was as trying as today was, I'd quit and become a prosititute. It was one of those days. And I'm sure that six months from now, "The Mop Incident of 2001" will seem terribly humorous, but right now, I don't appreciate my prized Converse All-Stars reeking of Mountain Dew and mop water.

Well, Rachel, where have you been for three days? Hmmm, I've been living my life. I've been hanging out, getting into fights, swimming at midnight, working, eating at Denny's, and just being Rachel.

On Tuesday, I went over Vicki's, just to hang out. We ended up walking through Flat Rock at 11:30 at night, skipping and singing Fat Lip by Sum 41 and various Nelly songs (just to piss Vicki off). Then we went to Hurock Park and played on their playground until Mel deserted us to go sit by the water. We joined her and I, out of the blue, commented that it was a shame Vicki didn't have a pool anymore because I wanted to swim. Mel said she DID have a pool, so off to her house we went. The downside of swimming that late at night is that it gets pretty cold. So we didn't swim for that long.

On Wednesday, I went over Vicki's house to eat and then go over to Willow for the fireworks. This is where the fight came in. I decided that I wanted to start a gang in Flat Rock that walked around and squirted people with squirt guns and Fat Lip would be our theme song. So we went to Meijer to get sparklers, squirt guns, and the Sum 41 album. Apparently, Mel and I had our own thing going on and Vicki ended up feeling left out.

So we went to K-Mart, because Meijer didn't have the sparklers and Vicki walked out because she said we were "getting annoying". To make a long story short, we ended up going back to her house and having a long-winded discussion/fight that really didn't accomplish much, except to bring this problem out in the open.

What Vicki doesn't understand is that the dynamic that I have in my friendship with Mel is 100% different from the dynamic I have with Vicki. Vicki is the rock. She's been there forever. She gets things about me that no one else does. She knows me better than anyone else in the world. But there's a part of me that doesn't fit in with Vicki.

That part is the part that listens to punk music. It's the part that wanted to go swimming at midnight. It's the part that skips through Flat Rock singing songs. It's the part that obsesses over Greg Attonito. It's the immature, crazy, girlie, young, frivolous, happy part of me that comes out more and more these days.

Vicki doesn't like that part of me. She's thinks I'm dumb when I do stuff like that. She doesn't get it. And Mel does. Mel skips with me. She swims with me. She borrowed my DKM albums and actually liked them. Vicki never did that.

And it's not that I want her to. I don't want her to change who she is just to be more like me. But she's got to understand that when I'm happy, skippy, fun Rachel, she kind of brings that down.

It sounds harsh, I know. But she's never been as frivolous as I am. She just can't let herself go most of the time. She doesn't fit in with the way I act when I'm that way. She thinks it's annoying and dumb. And then she gets mad when I don't want to put up with her bitching about it.

She said it herself that we were "annoying". And she always says we're dumb. But she gets mad when we turn away to talk about something stupid.

Vicki needs to learn how to not take things so seriously. She needs to see that life isn't something to cry about all the time. For years, I couldn't see that and I was right where she was. But now I'm letting go. And I don't see why she can't do the same.

And basically, we had this hour-long discussion about all of this and all it did was get in the open all the stuff we've been thinking for so long. Now, no one has any excuses. We all know.

On a lighter note, as I was cleaning up "The Mop Incident of 2001", the guy I think is hot that comes into Stanley's came in and said hi to me. I'm so sad. I don't know his name, I don't know how old he is, and I still get excited when he says hi. At least I've talked this one.

I also am looking forward to this next year. I think I'm just going to go to community college for two years and then I'll transfer to someplace else. It'll be easier and cheaper for me. I'll probably just go to Monroe.

But for now, I'm just thinking about the year ahead. Going into a new year as a new girl. That's what I feel like, a new girl. The things I've felt, the things I've done, the people I used to know... none of that matters. I get a fresh start. I'm the only one who can make or break this chance. And it feels great.

"So here I stand out on my own, my self the only truth that I've known." No Comply by The Souls