My party was last night. Alcohol was my enemy.

I drank too much and said things to a certain person that I shouldn't have. And now I may be in a hole that I can't dig myself out of. Unless this person keeps his mouth shut.

I guess I should elaborate. I took a walk with Joe (my sister's boyfriend and a good friend of mine) and we went to the park. We were both VERY intoxicated by this point. We stumbled to the swings and sat down. Conversation started and things were said and all of a sudden, Joe was telling me he used to have feelings for me. And I was telling him I used to have feelings for him, which is true, but never would've been said, had I not been drunk. And then he said he still did have feelings for me. And I said that I still have feelings for him. Which is also true, but again, wouldn't have been said had I not been drunk.

What do I do? We fell on the ground and I started crying as I told him he'd better not break up with my sister because I love her too much to ever want to see her hurt. And I know that nothing can happen between me and Joe for a long time, because even if they do break up, feelings between them will remain. He does still like her, just as he still likes Laura and just as I still like Jared. We're just two confused kids.

The point is, it wouldn't have come out if we hadn't been drunk. And I hope that Joe doesn't get an urge to be brutally honest with my sister anytime soon. I hope he's smart enough to realize that some things just need to be forgotten and this is one of those things, at least for now.

Whew. It's been an emotionally exhausting day for me. Tish yelled at me at work and I almost started crying. Then about half an hour later, we were rolling on the floor laughing for no reason at all. It was Manic Depression Day at Stanley's.

And even trying to distract myself from this impending situation, my thoughts still drift back to Joe... and my sister. I love Megan to death and that's more important to anything else I feel. Friends before boys anytime, and I consider Megan my friend as well as my sister.

Okay. Now I'm done getting that out. The end.

P.S. I finally came out of the smoking closet to Vicki. She knew anyway. I should've known she wasn't that stupid.