I got a letter today that said I was accepted into Monroe. I opened it and I didn't know whether I should smile or cry. I felt like doing both.

I can't tell which way is up and which way is down these days. Fatty is worried; he told me so earlier on tonight.

I sleep way too much and I can't sleep at night. Which leaves the daytime for me to get all my sleeping in. Which leaves me alienated from everyone in the world.

It's very late and I'm doing the exact same thing that I did at this time last year, only for different reasons. Real reasons. Reasons I'm going to let myself feel. Is that worse than feeling horrible for unjustifiable reasons? I think so. Because otherwise, you hate yourself for feeling this way. But I just can't bring myself to that, because I feel like this is the way I should feel.

Tomorrow it's supposed to be 70 degrees outside. I hope it's going to be as nice as they say it will, because I'm going to quit my job and that's going to suck. So I'll need something to cheer me up.

Yes, that's right, after 2 years, I'm quitting Stanley's Market. It's not fair for them or me to continue working there. First of all, I don't show up half the time. Second, even if I did show up all the time, I'd only get 8 hrs. a week. I need more than that. I need to move on.

I don't know how I feel about this yet. I'm sure I'll get along a lot better with all of them if I'm not screwing them over majorly. They are like my family and I feel as if I've disappointed them.

Anyway, that's about all for today. I'm in college officially, I'm disappointing everyone in my life, and I'm worrying the one person I truly love.

It sucks being me today.