I hate knowing this information, because you suddenly realize how much it can crush a person to lose the one they love. Especially in those circumstances. To be rejected in the worst way; to be rejected without the consideration of being told you're being rejected.

And yet I wonder if it's sabotage. He moves up dates on her, intimidates her, and I can't help but think, "Is he doing this to freak her out enough so she'll break up with him? Will he think it's okay to cheat then?" Is it okay to cheat, as long as nobody finds out?

The problem began in this situation when he decided to tell ANYONE about it. Because then it doesn't just involve him and her and whoever else he's fucking. It involves me and my boyfriend and my mother and my sister and everyone else who knows about this, but remains silent.

Is it better to know or not to know? That sad take on Shakespeare keeps running through my head. And I just keep thinking about when Dave dated his best friend without telling me, when we were on "the break". And I think about me finding out, even after he told me a thousand times that he only liked her as a friend. And I think about what an ass I felt like, how weak I felt and how angry I was at myself for letting myself seem that weak when I found out that everyone else knew, but they didn't want to tell me because they thought I couldn't take it.

I wonder if that's the way it is with her. I wonder if she'll feel like an idiot, just because we so underestimated her strength. But I'm so worried about her. I don't want her to freak out. I mean, she said that the happiest moment in her life was when she realized she could love someone with all that she is. And that someone is my brother. I don't even want to think what she'd think about love if this is the way it ended. If suddenly, love meant giving your whole self to someone, only to have them throw it away.

Love is the most important thing in the world. There's nothing better than giving your whole self to someone and to have them give their whole self to you. And there's nothing worse than giving your whole self to someone and finding out that they don't want it. You feel belittled, like your whole self wasn't enough for them, like you were giving EVERYTHING you have to them, and they just look at you and spit on it.

And I think about what if she found out after the fact. And I remember that day in Algebra II, when Sarah came in crying (at least I think she was crying. It was 2 1/2 years ago) because she found out that Tim had cheated on her when they were dating. And that was after they broke up.

I just want this to work out and for her to see him as the total asshole prick that he is. I don't want her to think she isn't enough. I don't want her to feel completely alone. I don't want her to feel abandoned. I want her to see it as it is, which is that she'd be 200 times better off without him in her life.

He told her that she was "a fat chick" to her face. Then he told my boyfriend that he "slept with a fat chick all weekend". He also told him about all the girls he's been sleeping with in Florida since they've been together. And he told my other brother the same thing, even going as far as to point a couple out just to brag about it.

And he has the audacity to get jealous because she had her arm in my boyfriend's when they were walking around Meijer. He told her he just gets jealous sometimes and that she never has to worry about him cheating on her.

It's fucking bullshit and she needs to know. But I can't bring myself to tell her.

I don't know what to do. I just don't know.